The Great Revealing

Day 0:
Me thinking: Man, the women here look so hot wearing those swimsuits where their butts hang out. I could never pull that off. I can’t believe everybody on this beach (except me) has an exposed butt right now. Bizarre.

AA: “I think those suits the girls wear here are really flattering on all body types. The suits at home are not as flattering because they squeeze your ass into them and then some always hangs out making it shabby looking.” Babe, you should try one on.”

Me thinking as we walk by a swimsuit shop later that night: Those suits look really cute on those mannequins. I wonder what I would look like in one. WOW – they are only $R20?

AA: “Babe, look – there’s those suits – you should try one on!”

Me: “OK, I’ll try one on, just for laughs.”

So I try on a suit and come out to show AA, trying to cover myself up because I feel so exposed. He claims that he likes it better than any of all my other suits and that I should definitely get it. I end up going home with a new Brazilian suit!

Side note – I think AA had ulterior motives. He really wanted to buy this shirt as a souvenir that also happened to be $R20. Therefore, to justify him buying the shirt, he wanted me to have also bought something.


Day 1:
Me: “I really don’t know if I can go out in public like this. I feel so fat in this suit – everything hangs out and plus all of my tans lines show. My butt is a pale shade of white and I think I’m going to blind everybody. I’m so embarrassed!”

AA: “Honey, you look good! Don’t worry everybody here is wearing one. You’ll fit in more than with your other suit. Make sure you put on sunscreen though - the full moon is definitely shining!”

We arrive at the beach and I applied ample amounts of 45 SPF to my stark white butt cheeks. The one thing I was liking about this suit is how my cute little butt tattoo (sorry mom) is nicely displayed, and I’ve never had the chance to show it off before. Other than that I can only describe how I felt on the beach as insecure. I felt like the entire world was looking at me and laughing at my butt: white with tan lines from my “grandma” suit, and fat bouncing all around. I was in one of two positions all day. One, laying down on my towel in the sandy beach area trying to be somewhat secluded from all the people, or Two, sitting in my chair halfway emerged in the water. I remember when I stood up out of my chair and immediately a mother with her little girl walked by, laughing out loud. I was certain they had to be laughing at me (the tourist trying to play Brazilian), haha. At the end of the day I quickly put on my dress cover up and felt so much better to had regained my vanity. I ended up with two bright red butt cheeks, despite all the sunscreen that I applied. Alright, I thought, at least I’m one step closer now to having a bronzed butt.


Day 2:
Me: “AA, does my butt look red?”

AA: YES!!!!

Me: “Oh well, I’m going to wear my new suit out again today.”

AA: “Put on lots of sunscreen!”

Our time at the beach was quickly coming to an end (only 2 days left) and for some reason I now felt it my personal mission before we leave to get tanned and look like a true Brazilian. This day I was feeling a little more comfortable in my new suit. For some reason it seemed so much more bearable having a bright red backside rather than it being white. On day 2 I even built up the courage to go for a walk on the beach! This might not seem like a big deal to you, but to a newly butt-revealing swimsuit wearer it is a big step! I was walking around in front of people, feeling so exposed. It helped to just look around and see that every other girl out there was also “exposed”. It wasn’t so bad walking in a crowd, walking by females, or passing somebody as they walked by. BUT… the worst was when somebody (a guy) was just sitting on the beach, people watching. The first time I walked passed a guy like this, I just kept repeating in my head “I’m so embarrassed, I’m so embarrassed, I’m so embarrassed, I am so embarrassed” as I passed by him. As I continued passing by guys the chanting in my mind shortened. By the 5th or 6th guy I was pretty proud of myself because I no longer had the continuous chant in my mind, instead it was just a single “I’m so embarrassed!” But the cool thing is what happened after walking for about 30 minutes. All the sudden, out of nowhere Fergie’s song came into my mind. For the rest of my walk these lyrics filled my mind: “What ya gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I’m gonna gonna get you drunk, get you love drunk off my humps. My humps my humps, my humps my humps my humps. My humps my humps my humps, my lovely lady lumps. Check it out.” Thanks for the confidence boost, Fergie!!!

Please note that this is NOT me in the photograph, but thanks for the flattery